


Nightmares

by larry22xx



Category: One Direction
Genre: 17 years old louis, 18 years old harry, Alternate Universe - High School, Harry is a genius, Louis carefree, Louis helped Harry to get out of his shell, M/M, Nerd Harry, Sad Louis, Sleepovers, Storms idkw, harry loves louis so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 03:36:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6687628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larry22xx/pseuds/larry22xx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>-</p><p>Louis is having nightmares and Won't tell Harry the reasons behind them until Harry find out :) </p><p>I promise the story is so good, and I don't know how to summarize it :(</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> Just to make it clear Harry loves to study and search for everything and Louis is carefree self and you know !! Oh and Their school is kinda strict !! Hope u enjoyyyy

Louis was the very last person on Earth that Harry would have expected to have nightmares.  
Harry suspected that he would never have even found out about the nightmares if Louis hadn't spent the night on that certain Tuesday, when a storm hit London so harshly and suddenly that Harry's father had insisted that Louis stay the night instead of braving the storm to head home. Louis had only been too happy to accept, and Harry was rather happy about the situation as well, if not slightly nervous. After all, the two of them had been dating for a couple of months, (although, he was fairly certain if his father knew about this he might not have been so quick to suggest it,) and the idea of a sleepover with his boyfriend sounded almost too good to be true.  
The night went exactly how he assumed a night with Louis would go. They studied for as long as Louis's attention span would allow, and then they prepared snacks and picked out a movie to watch. As Harry's parents were both home, the two of them were careful about bodily contact, but Harry managed to rest his arm behind Louis's shoulders without it looking too conspicuous. Louis was making it difficult to focus on the movie with how often he was making a point to continuously scoot closer to Harry and nuzzle his head against his shoulder whenever he had a moment to do so.  
As the night wore on and the storm beat mercilessly against the windows of the house, Harry and Louis went to Harry's room. They talked and laughed and Louis pulled a great many books and magazines out of Harry's perfectly organized and alphabetized bookshelf against Harry's fruitless protests until they were both too tired to stay up anymore. The rain and wind still howling outside, Harry went to his bed and Louis took the bedding that had been provided for him on the floor.  
It was obvious fairly quickly that Louis was not completely content with this arrangement as he began to fidget around under his blankets far more than was necessary. Finally, (and predictably) Louis's voice pierced the near-silence that had fallen over the room.  
"Harry ?"  
"Mm. What is it?"  
"I really want to sleep in your bed with you. Do you think your parents will come in?"  
Louis's bluntness always took Harry off-guard.  
"Aren't you worried that I'll grind my teeth and keep you up?" Harry couldn't help but reply snidely.  
"Do you? do you really grind your teeth?" Louis asked in a tone of worry.  
"No! I was- Ugh, nevermind. I doubt my parents will come in for any reason… They never do. So… If you want to, then… Come on," he said, cheeks slightly tinted. He lifted up his blankets as means of a formal invitation, and Louis gasped happily and sprang up, forgoing walking altogether and opting instead for jumping directly into Harry's bed.  
"Yayy I get to sleep with my Hazza!"  
"Louu , be quiet, you'll wake everyone in the house up! And stop wiggling around, I'm trying to get us situated!"  
If he was honest with himself, Harry was glad that Louis had suggested it. He would be lying if he said that he hadn't thought about sleeping in the same bed with Louis more than once, and although often times those thoughts led to other thoughts that involved other bedroom activities, for the most part he just wanted to be with Louis, snuggling   
Louis already seemed to be a professional snuggler; in mere moments he had found himself the perfect spot next to Harry, his head resting just under the other boy's chin and his face pressed into Harry's collar bone, smiling into the warm skin. He bunched his hands at his chest and wiggled closer still.  
Harry couldn't help but smile; trying hard not to use calculations, (at the former request of his boyfriend; quote, "Harry, you can't use theories and things like that for relationship stuff! Didn't I tell you that would just set you up to fail? Promise me!") he wrapped his arms around Louis's smaller frame, letting out a shallow breath.  
"Hey, Harry" Louis's voice was muffled and softer than usual, and Harry's face felt hot.  
"Mm?"  
"I like this. I wish we could do this more often."  
Harry managed a small smile… His eyes were getting heavy, and Louis's warmth was making him more tired than he had been previously. It was a strange sensation, feeling a warm body next to him in this way, another heart beating so close to his and someone's breath against his skin. It was foreign but not unwelcome.  
"Yeah…"  
"Hazza" Louis said again, his voice sounding farther away now, and Harry realized he was dozing off, just as he now was. He hummed a response.  
"I really like you, Hazza." Louis said, and those were the last words spoken between them before they both succumed to sleep.  
.  
.  
.  
Harry was not a particularly sound sleeper, he never had been, but sleeping with Louis in his arms was proving to be one of the most natural things in the world to him. That being said, it wasn't the extra body in the bed that woke him up, or the fact that the two boys had gotten awkwardly entangled as they slept; it was what Harry's new bed-mate was doing that caused Harry to surface from the world of dreams with a violent suddenness. Louis was screaming.  
Screaming and thrashing, to be exact, and when Harry woke up, his first instinct was to silence the sound before anyone else woke up and came to the bedroom to see what was the matter. Still half-asleep and panicking, Harry gently covered Louis's mouth with one hand and grabbed his shoulder with the other, practically having to straddle him in order to contain how violently Louis was jerking and swinging his arms.  
"Louis! Louis, wake up!" Harry exclaimed, and after another moment of shaking the boy's shoulder gently, Louis's eyes opened and his body fell limp.  
Harry slowly removed his hand from Louis's mouth, his heart hammering in his chest from the flurry of the whole ordeal. Louis stared at him through the darkness, almost as if were confused as to why Harry was so worked up.  
"Harry? Wuh... What's wrong?" Louis asked tiredly, rubbing his eyes.  
Harry cleared his throat. "Are you okay?" Harry asked worriedly, quickly and awkwardly removing his weight from the other boy to sit back on his side of the bed. Louis sat up, still rubbing his eyes sleepily.  
"Huh?"  
"You were… You woke me up, you were thrashing around and screaming…"  
"I was?" Louis asked, and then laughed languidly. "That's weird."  
"Louis…"  
"I was having a nightmare," Louis explained with a tired smile. "I can't really remember what it was about now."  
"A nightmare?" Harry asked him worriedly. "Is it… Is it because you're sleeping over here, or something like that?"  
"What?" Louis laughed again, shaking his head. "No way! Your bed is so comfortable, it's way more comfortable than mine-"  
"It's not really about the comfort." Harry pointed out with a sigh.  
Louis flashed Harry a reassuring smile. "It's not about anything else, either," he said. "It was just a nightmare. They don't mean anything." he said, and yawned hugely. "I'm sorry I woke you up," he said, his eyes falling closed even while sitting up.  
"Don't worry," Harry said hastily, his expression still worried. "Are you sure you don't want me to sleep somewhere else, or-"  
"No! I want to sleep here with you. That would make me happy right now," he said, laying back down and getting into a proper position for Harry to embrace him again. Harry looked down at Louis's smiling face, although he could barely make it out in the darkness and without his glasses. *and yes Harry wear glasses bc why not?;)*   
How could louis smile and be so carefree after an outburst like that? Nightmares were terrible… And whatever had Louis screaming like that…  
Harry forced a smile. "Okay," he said, and laid down as well, allowing Louis to once again cuddle up to him. He once again wrapped his arms around the boy, hugging him just a bit more tightly than before. Whatever that nightmare had been, he wanted to keep it away. He wasn't sure if he could, but he knew that hearing that terrified sound coming out of Louis's mouth was the most painful thing he had ever experienced.  
.  
.  
.  
Here's Harry nerdy skills:

Night·mare: A dream arousing feelings of intense fear, horror, and distress.  
For two days, Harry had been using his spare time to research dreams and nightmares. Dreams weren't something he knew much about in terms of academics or theory prior to observing Louis on Tuesday night. Although Harry had brought the subject up the day following the sleepover, Louis had laughed it off and insisted that it was normal and not to worry so much.  
Even with Louis words still fresh in his mind, Harry wasn't convinced. The very next day he went to the locker room he had spoken to both Zayn and Liam about the issue, (glazing over the details of why exactly the two were in bed together,) asking them if they had ever known Louis to mention nightmares, or perhaps if he had suffered them in his younger years.  
"Nightmares? I can't imagine someone like Louis having nightmares," Zayn had said, a hand on his chin thoughtfully as he delved deep into his memory. "I can't remember him ever mentioning anything about bad dreams. Liam, has he ever said anything to you?"  
Liam shook his head stoically, still towel-drying his hair. "No. But if he's having them now all of a sudden, something must be wrong." he had said, his piercing brown eyes shifting to lock onto Harry's meaningfully. Harry hadn't needed Liam to translate for him, the intention was clear: Find out what's wrong with your boyfriend, he might need you.  
Sitting at his desk with his laptop open in front of him, Harry sighed. No matter what he found, what sources he scoured or books he read, it seemed unanimous that nightmares were caused by stress and anxiety in waking life. This wasn't exactly something that surprised him, but it did surprise him that Louis could possibly be so anxious about something in his life for it to manifest like that in his dreams.  
It also seemed to be a fact that the more a person avoided or ignored the stressors, the more the anxiety forced itself into the dreams in the form of suppressed emotions, making the nightmares considerably worse. This part troubled Harry. If the severity of Louis's nightmare had been any indication, he wondered if Louis's carefree attitude was keeping him from dealing with whatever problem plagued him.  
Still… What problem could Louis have that was this severe? Why wouldn't he have mentioned something? Harry felt a tightness in his throat. Was it perhaps something concerning their relationship?  
Harry closed his laptop and shook his head. He couldn't think like that. It wasn't going to help anything, least of all Louis.  
.  
.  
.  
Over the next few days, Harry had noticed a change in his boyfriend. To the casual observer it would seem that Louis was no different, and in truth, he was acting like his normal happy bubbly self. But upon meeting Louis on the way before school on Friday he noticed how tired Louis looked, and how bleary and distant his eyes were. Although it was subtle, Harry could make out dark rings forming just under Louis's eyes.  
Louis greeted Harry with his usual smile, and Harry smiled back, although he was having a hard time of it while seeing the obvious fatigue on his boyfriend's face.  
"Hazza, good morning!" Louis chimed. The shorter boy ushered the both of them onto the bus, and as usual, they sat together. Harry looked at Louis seriously.  
"How… Did you sleep?" Harry asked curiously. Louis blinked at him in surprise.  
"Why ? Do I look tired? I guess I didn't get the best sleep, but it's okay, because I feel wide awake." he replied, smiling and stretching hugely.  
Harry worried his bottom lip for the briefest of seconds. "You didn't… Have another nightmare, did you?"  
Louis looked surprised yet again. "Oh, that? Hmmm, maybe. I can't remember very well. But it isn't anything to worry about. Everybody has nightmares sometimes."  
Why did he always say things like that? Harry murmured a simple "I see," and looked down at his lap, unsure of what else to say. It was something to worry about. Louis wasn't sleeping well, and he was having nightmares bad enough to keep him from getting the sleep he needed. At the moment, Harry felt helpless. If Louis didn't want to admit that there was a problem, then how could he possibly help?  
Contrary to how chipper Louis had been on the bus, Harry noticed the boy's usual energy waning as they headed to school. By the time they reached the gates, Louis practically looked like he was dozing off while standing.  
Harry became increasingly worried about his boy during their first class. Louis was known to doze off in class even on a full night of sleep, so Harry couldn't even imagine what was going to happen considering the circumstances. Harry stole many furtive glances behind him at Louis as the teacher spoke, always catching him at different stages of exhaustion, until finally the inevitable happened and Louis's head slumped forward and his eyes fell closed.  
Harry was incredibly worried… A couple of students had already noticed that Louis was out, and had begun to exchange hushed jeers at his expense. Harry glared at them harshly although they weren't even looking in his direction.  
It took only another short moment for the teacher to notice that Louis was sleeping. She stopped her lecture and exhaled in an irritated manner, tapping her nails against the surface of his desk.  
"Louis Tomlinson!" She exclaimed pointedly, but Louis was beyond the point of response. The teacher sighed once more and started toward Louis's desk, presumably to wake him up; at this point, Harry stood up very suddenly in his chair, drawing the attention of the entire class. He hadn't really meant to, but something like a fierce protectiveness came over him and he found himself inclined to give in to it.  
"Ms.Teasdale!" Harry practically shouted, and immediately after he realized how forward he was being, he allowed himself to relax and push his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.  
" It's my understanding that Louis hasn't been getting proper sleep lately. Even so, he's attempting to push through his fatigue to be able to attend school and get his work done. Allow me to take him to the nurse so that he can be checked to see if he's well enough to continue through the school day."  
Ms.Teasdale regarded Harry with something of a confused expression, and finally, after Harry was done speaking she waved a hand dismissively at him.  
"That sounds acceptable, I suppose, but poor sleeping habits alone don't excuse it." The teacher placed a hand on Louis's shoulder and gave him a gentle shake to wake him up. "Louis, wake up. It's-"  
That was as far as she got.  
Louis's eyes flew open and locked on the women in front of him, the fear in his blue eyes unmistakable. In less time than it took for their teacher to pull away in alarm, Louis yelled out in a panic and yanked himself free of the women; forgetting he was at his desk he jerked out of his chair and landed hard on the floor.  
It had all happened so quickly, no one really reacted except for Harry and their teacher; Harry couldn't help himself and had made a dash for Louis, and although Ms.Teasdale had initially made to help her student up, she was still unclear as to what was going on and remained where she was for fear of making things worse.  
As soon as Louis had hit the floor he had seemingly come back to reality; when Harry reached him he was already sitting up, rubbing his head and looking embarrassed. "Harry… I'm sorry, I…" he laughed awkwardly, and glanced at Harry and the rest of the class briefly before averting his gaze. "I guess I'm feeling a little sick or something? I really don't know what happened."  
"That's fine, Louis" their teacher said, still obviously wary of the situation. "Harry dear, why don't you take Louis to the nurse to get some rest?"  
Harry didn't need to be told twice. He helped Louis to his feet, and with a hand on his arm although Louis most likely didn't need the extra support, they left the classroom, leaving hushed whispers of both concern and amusement behind them.  
The journey to the nurse's office was uneventful and uncharacteristically quiet. Louis had giggled briefly about how embarrassing the incident had been, but had fallen rather silent after that. Harry didn't know what to say. The look of terror on Louis's face had been etched into his memory, and he was having a hard time stomaching it.  
The nurse wasn't very helpful, but Harry hadn't expected her to be. She took Louis's temperature, but when it came back normal, she provided him with a glass of water and told him to rest in one of the beds for as long as he needed to. She also informed Harry that he could stay for a short while longer, but that he needed to get back to class soon. He agreed, and she let them be.  
Louis took a long drink of his water, and then sighed in a satisfied way when he set the glass down.  
"It's weird, I've never fallen out of my chair in class before. Ms.Teasdale scared the life out of me for some reason. It's weird, right?" he asked Harry with a smile, sitting on the bed Indian-style. Harry didn't smile back.  
"Were you having another nightmare?" he asked Louis seriously. Louis's smile vanished.  
"Haz , don't worry so much about the-"  
"Don't tell me not to worry!" Harry exclaimed suddenly, effectively silencing his boyfriend. "I can't help it! You're having nightmares that are so bad they're keeping you up at night, and you're even having terrors when you wake up!"  
Louis was silent. His gaze fell to the bedsheets, and Harry felt instantly horrible for his outburst.  
"Lou baby… I care about you. I just want you to be okay… And I can't help but worry. I feel like I'm useless to you if I can't even help with something as simple as a nightmare."  
"You're not useless to me! Of course you're not!" Louis's expression was adamant.  
"Then tell me what I can do! What are the nightmares about? Is there something… Going on in your life that's causing you anxiety?" Harry asked earnestly.  
Louis's gaze slowly met Harry's, and they regarded each other for a long moment before Louis spoke.  
"I can't really remember what they're about when I wake up. It's almost like the more I try and remember, the faster it slips away, you know?"  
Louis's gaze faltered and fell once again to the bedsheets. "There's a big room. There are broken pictures hanging on the walls but I can't see the pictures because of all the shattered glass. There are chairs in the middle of the room, with balloons tied to them, all in a circle, but there's no one sitting in them. Everything is so gray… And then the door opens, and there's a dark, creepy shadowy figure…"  
Harry could see Louis physically shiver at the memory. After a moment of reflective silence, Louis looked up to meet Harry's eyes again with a smile and a carefree laugh. "It sounds really stupid probably, but they're pretty scary in the moment."  
"It doesn't sound stupid," Harry reassured, his mind frantically trying and failing to decode the dream. He had spent a few days now reading all about nightmares and how to decipher them, but this sort of calculation was lost on him. His brain was more suited for facts and figures. Dreams were a world of metaphors and symbolism, and these were concepts that blatantly disregarded all semblance of solid logic.  
Boldly, Harry fished for Louis's hand and gripped it tightly in his own. "Do you know what that dream could be about?" he asked softly, and Louis stared at Harry for such a length of time that Harry suspected he did. Instead of replying, Louis suddenly yawned and stretched, his hand slipping out of Harry's in the process.  
"Ahh, I think the nurse was right," he said, grinning sleepily and shimmying under the bedsheets, "I should get some rest. I'm feeling better already, though! You should be going back to class"  
.  
.  
.

 

The wind was sharp and the sky was blotted with dark clouds, threatening another storm. The occasional rogue droplet of water tapped Harry's nose as he walked, the promise of a downpour to come.  
Several times Harry had thought of perhaps calling or texting Louis instead of just dropping by his house unannounced, but everytime he pulled out his phone he put it away just as quickly and swallowed the growing fear in the back of his throat. He wasn't even sure if Louis wanted to see him at this point, but he had to make sure everything was okay, even if Louis seemed opposed to talking about whatever was wrong.  
The walk to Louis's house was nerve-wracking as Harry contemplated all the different approaches he could try in confronting Louis about what was happening. He had outlined each approach and split them all into several categories based on what Louis's replies might be, and had just begun to mentally tag certain possible responses based on probability when he noticed a female walking out of Louis's house with several suitcases- presumably Louis's mother, it was hard to tell at this distance- heading toward a car that was parked on the street.  
As Harry came closer, he could see Louis's mother clearly now as she chatted with a man Harry didn't recognize in the driver's seat. She stuffed the suitcases in the backseat, and it was here that Harry stopped walking just short of the front gate and stared, unsure if he should offer a hello or not.  
Thankfully, Louis's mother saved him the trouble. She noticed him just as she put her hand to the passenger seat door, and smiled at him brightly. "Harry!" she chimed, and bowed over to speak hastily to the man in the drivers seat before walking to where Harry was awkwardly standing.  
"Hello, Ms.Tomlinson" Harry said in greeting, casting a curious look at the car behind them. "Are you going on a trip?"  
Louis's mother's smile faded to something of a somber expression, and she nodded. "Yes… I suppose I am. I'm sure Louis has told you everything by now, right?" she smiled cheekily at him, and Harry flushed; he had only met Louis's mother a few times, but he always had the sneaking suspicion every time they spoke that she knew exactly what sort of relationship the two of them were in.  
He could hardly dwell on her suggestive tone at the moment, however. Louis hadn't been telling him everything… That was exactly the problem.  
"Umm…"  
"Hasn't he?" she asked him, her face falling. "Oh dear… I thought sure… He cares for you so much, I just assumed…"  
Harry felt his stomach flop upside down. He pushed his glasses up instinctively. "I… I came here to talk to him about that. He's been…" Harry paused and chose his words carefully, "acting strangely lately. I came over because I was concerned."  
Louis's mother smiled at Harry reproachfully. "You're a good friend to him, Harry. I knew Louis wasn't being honest about how he felt… I should have known, being his mother." She almost looked like she could cry, and Harry opened his mouth to say something, perhaps to ask the question that was now perched on the tip of his tongue, but he said nothing. Louis's mother looked up to meet his eyes, and must have known what the question was going to be.  
"Should I tell you what's going on, then?" she asked with a sad smile. Louis pondered the offer for a moment, perhaps a moment too long, and finally shook his head.  
"N-No. Thank you. If Louis wants to talk about it with me, I should hear it from him."  
Louis's mother laughed gently. "Well then, you may be exactly what he needs right now. I'm counting on you to look after him, okay?"  
With a small wave, she turned and headed for the car, and Harry thought he could see water shining over her eyes as she got into the passenger seat.  
Harry stared at the car as it drove off and away, farther and farther, and Harry thought he understood, but he pushed his suspicions away and focused on heading up to the house and keeping his thoughts in order.  
As Harry raised his hand to ring the bell the door opened so suddenly that he started, and Louis framed the doorway, wide-eyed and looking more surprised than Harry had ever seen him.  
"Hazza! You're here…" Louis's face slowly lit up with a smile, and he playfully grabbed Harry's sleeve, pulling him into the house. "You didn't text or anything! That must have REALLY hurt to do something so spontaneous!" he said Playfully, looking at Harry closely as if to see the pain on his face.  
Under normal circumstances, Harry would have taken this moment to hastily deny such accusations, but there were things to be dealt with, and Louis's face looked more tired than he'd ever seen it.  
"Lou… I ran into your mother outside."  
Louis stared at Harry with an undeterminable expression, but remained silent. Harry continued.  
"She was going somewhere, right? Where-"  
"She left. That's all." came Louis's blunt reply, but he was smiling, his lips pulled into that sweet but impish grin he always wore, as if what he'd just said hadn't been unusual in the slightest. Harry wasn't quite sure what to say, but Louis grabbed his sleeve again and tugged it towards the stairs.  
"Come on! My dad's still at work and my sisters are out, so we're all alone! We should go to my room!" he said, and although Harry usually would have felt his face burning after such a bold statement, all he felt at the moment was sadness and frustration.  
Harry set his bag down on the floor of Louis's bedroom, and Louis plopped down on his bed, sighing.  
"It's a good thing you're here, Haz! I could use your brain to help me with some of these problems," he said, casting his gaze to his desk where he had a few books and pages of notebook paper spread out haphazardly along with a couple of open bags of snack food. He glowered in the direction of the school work. "It's so haaaard. I was just about to give up," he whined.  
Harry walked to the bed and sat down, resting his arms on his knees. Harry looked at Louis with a concerned expression. "Louis…"  
A thick silence fell over the room. Louis's wall clock ticked the seconds away with a loudness that only managed to intensify the silence, and Harry swallowed a lump that had settled uncomfortably in his throat.  
There was never silence when Louis was around. Even at his most quiet, there was an energy surrounding Louis like a veil, and he emanated it so effortlessly that Harry almost considered him an anomaly. While dealing with Louis could sometimes prove to be tiring or frustrating, it was never boring and it was never awkward.  
But now, it was almost as if Louis's usual energy had faded, leaving a forced, tired shell in its place. Even the silence that had fallen over the room held a heavy thickness that Harry had never experienced when in the presence of his boyfriend. To say that he was unsettled by this would be a vast understatement.  
Louis laughed through his nose after some time, and shifted his weight to flop onto his stomach, holding his head up by means of his elbows, his legs swinging.  
"My mom and dad got a divorce," he said, as if he were talking about the weather. "They just weren't working well together anymore. My mom met someone else, he's really nice. It was a mutual divorce, so it wasn't a problem. It's actually easier to do than I thought! They both just signed some papers, and poof! Just like that, their marriage ended. They're going to stay friends, which is pretty amazing, you know? It's like nothing has really changed, my mom is just going to live somewhere else, is all."  
Harry watched Louis, his mouth having fallen slightly open. It took him longer than usual to summon words to convey what he was thinking. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? Or any of us, Zayn, Liam or Niall?" Harry asked softly, and Louis's gaze fell to his blankets. His shoulders jerked up in a playful shrug.  
"I didn't want to worry anyone. Saying something like that out of the blue would just sour everyone's mood!" Louis laughed, tilting his head at Harry. "It's not even a big deal, if my parents are okay with it, so am I. So I just didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me, or anything like that."  
There were many emotions coursing through Harry all at once, but most prominently he felt wounded. Unable to stop himself,Harry stood up.  
"They're your friends!" he exclaimed, causing Louis to stare with wide eyes. "And I'm… I'm your boyfriend, we're supposed to be telling each other what goes on in our lives! We would want to be there for you, just like you would be there for any of us! Saying you didn't want to worry us… That…" Harry shook his head, his expression hurt, "It's like saying you don't trust any of us! Like you don't trust… Me…" he trailed off, realizing his outburst just as his anger dissolved into concern.  
Louis's eyes were large and surprised, but finally his gaze faltered and dropped. Louis stared hard at his bedsheets, as if he was trying very hard to avoid Harry's stare. "I'm really sorry…" he said, and Harry felt a jolt of guilt rush through him like cold steel. He slowly sat back down on the bed, looking at Louis with a regretful expression.  
"Louis… I'm sorry too, I didn't mean to get angry… It's just that I can't help but feel like you were trying so hard to keep this from me, and I can't figure out why. You must be feeling emotional about all this... Anyone would!" Harry said earnestly.  
Louis smiled sadly and shook his head. "Haz, this kind of things happens all the time! And I'm lucky, my parents split on good terms, and they're still close! I can't really say I have anything to be upset about-"  
"Like hell you don't!" Harry interjected seriously. "You can't even sleep through the night! These nightmares you're having, they exist because you're bottling all of this up and trying to ignore it! I've read all about this. That's what nightmares are. They're just manifestations of things that you aren't dealing with!"  
Pushing himself up and sitting on his legs next to Harry, Louis laughed airily. "Harry, why are you getting so worked up? I'm telling you, it's not a big deal! I'm perfectly fine, there's nothi-"  
Cutting Louis off in mid-sentence, Harry grabbed the boy and pulled him roughly into a hug. Wrapping his arms firmly around him and nuzzling his nose into Louis's neck, Harry took a deep breath.  
He was going off of instinct at the moment. Words weren't working… Just like calculations and theories when it came to swimming, words were useless in this situation. Harry understood that now. Louis wasn't depressed, he was drowning. He was desperately trying to keep his head above the surface of the water, but it was getting harder and harder to stay afloat. Harry knew the feeling well.  
"Cry," he murmured softly to Louis.  
The other boy was almost too surprised by the sudden embrace to hear him, but when Louis came back to himself, his mouth opened to issue an uncharacteristically soft voice. "W-wha-? Harry…"  
"I said, cry. Your parents aren't together anymore, and you're hurting. Your mother just left. It must be painful… And I'm so sorry I couldn't be here for you this whole time."  
Louis's hands slowly gripped the back of Harry's shirt, and he found himself pressing his face into Harry's chest. His vision was swimming with water, and his breathing hitched, his body trying and failing to withhold a pitiful sob.  
"So, you can cry if you need to. I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere." Harry finished, resting his chin on the top of Louis's head.  
And Louis cried.  
Harry held him tight, shifting to allow the smaller boy to move in between his legs to get a better grip. Louis's body shook and trembled with repressed sobs, the sound of it breaking Harry's heart in more ways than he realized possible.  
He wasn't sure how long they sat there like that. At one point Harry began to slowly rock, one of his hands trailing up Louis's back gently and slipping fingers into fluffy brown hair. Louis clung to the other man as if he were the only thing keeping him afloat, his emotions spilling out messily in a tirade of tears and broken whines. Twice Harry heard his name mixed into the muffled sounds Louis was producing,   
As the crying began to subside, Louis said something into Harry's chest that was so muffled Harry couldn't make it out. He ceased rubbing Louis's back and pulled away only slightly.  
"What did you say?" he asked gently.  
"Hazza…" Louis wiped his face against his arm; his eyes were red, as was his face, and his cheeks were glistening with water. Harry couldn't help himself, and used his sleeve to help wipe away some of the tears.  
"I said… I'm sorry I didn't tell you…" Louis said, his voice more deflated and exhausted than Harry had ever heard. "I was scared..." he finished, and Harry tilted his head at the other boy inquisitively.  
"Scared? Of what?"  
Louis took a deep breath and let it out shakily. Although he had managed to calm down, his shoulders were still twitching with the occasional hiccup.  
"My mom and dad loved each other a lot… They had four children together. But they still fell out of love. So I couldn't help… But feel…" Louis trailed off, water pooling in his large blue eyes and rolling down his cheeks once again. He brought his knuckles to his eyes and cried again, softer this time.  
"I want to be with you forever… I don't ever want to fall out of love with you… And I don't want you to fall out of love with me…" he sobbed, and Harry felt a jolt of cold realization that rendered him actionless.  
He had assumed it was only the divorce that was effecting the boy so much. He had never even thought about the possibility of something like that shaking someone's belief in the idea of love or partnership. He had honestly never thought about the notion.  
Prior to meeting Louis and being more-or-less dragged into the library, he had never even thought of being in a relationship. He had turned down every confession he had ever received. It was Louis that he had inexplicably fallen for, this fiery little boy that had pulled him rather forcibly out of his defensive shell and showed him how happy he could be in the company of other people.  
The thought of no longer having Louis in his life wasn't an option he had ever considered. Louis was a vital variable in his life now, something that completed him, something that without his life would surely crumble.  
Harry looked at Louis, his mouth slightly agape. The nightmares made sense now. The broken pictures, the empty chairs… Harry felt an overwhelming wave of affection for his boyfriend, and he was once again unable to convey it into words.  
In lieu of saying anything, Harry brought his hands to the sides of Louis's face gently, large teary eyes meeting his in surprise just before he leaned in and kissed Louis's open mouth.  
For just a moment nothing moved. Slowly, Louis's hands slipped over Harry's shoulders, and then around his neck, and then Louis was kissing him urgently, lips moving desperately against Harry's as if he needed his breath to survive.  
Harry matched his passion, his tongue seeking passage into Louis's hot mouth and sliding over the other boys tongue and eliciting a soft whine from him . Harry's hands dropped from Louis's face to hold tight to his waist, pulling the shorter boy closer to lock him into position between his thighs. Louis silently approved by nibbling Harry's lower lip, and Harry retaliated by sucking the boy's tongue forcefully, feeling Louis's body quake and shiver from the sensation, sending low hums of appreciation into Harry's mouth and causing him to shiver just as much.  
Louis pulled away only by an inch, his breath hot and inviting against Harry's mouth. "Haz…" he softly whined, Without much warning, Louis pushed Harry back on the bed, falling with him and landing on top of him effortlessly. The smaller boy rested his hands on Harry's shoulders, keeping himself suspended above the curly-haired boy, looking down at him with an almost pained expression.  
"I love you, Harry" Louis choked out, and Harry's green eyes widened a fraction in response. "I love you, I love you, I love you…" Louis squeezed his eyes shut and another tear slid down his flushed face. "I don't ever want to be apart from you… I would be so alone…" To prevent himself from crying yet again, Louis bit his bottom lip, opening his eyes to stare at Harry with glossy blue globes that shined with intensity.  
Harry's mouth fell open. He had never seen this side of Louis, this hopelessly vulnerable side that was terrified of being left behind. Louis was always so confident, so energetic, it was hard to imagine anything getting to him. Harry now understood why it had hurt him so much to see Louis suffering from those nightmares… They were glimpses of the emotions that Louis had been trying to keep to himself.  
Slowly, Harry's hand moved up to touch the side of Louis's face, wiping a tear away. He smiled softly. Although seeing Louis like this was strange and painful, it made him happy as well. Louis was only human, after all. He had fears and insecurities just like everyone else. But he had shown these fears to Harry, and only to Harry.  
"You're so beautiful, Louis" Harry said softly, and Louis smiled for the first time since everything had come to the surface.  
"I'm a mess," Louis pointed out, his laughter punctuated with another sob.  
"No. I mean, you're the most beautiful person I've ever met. I can't imagine my life without you anymore… And just the thought of not being with you, it hurts."  
Louis's lips parted, and he almost looked like he could cry again, but he didn't. Instead, one of his hands left Harry's shoulder and covered the hand that was caressing his cheek, fingers intertwining.  
"I can't tell you with any certainty what the future holds," Harry said honestly, if not slightly regretfully. "But I know that my life was so empty before you came along, so colorless, and right now, I know that I want to be with you for as long as possible. Even if we are separate, I want to be with you. No one else will do."  
Squeezing Harry's hand, Louis dissolved into tears again, but they were different this time. They sounded happy, if tears could emulate emotions, and Harry knew that logically they couldn't, but there were a great many things in this world that didn't make any sense.  
Louis dropped down on top of Harry, his arms slinking their way around his neck and hugging him fiercely. Harry smiled and hugged him back, body pressed firmly against body, and all at once Louis's crying sounded almost like it turned into joyous laughter, soft and muffled into Harry's neck.  
"Harry.." Louis said, so muffled that Harry could barely understand him.  
"Yes."  
"Sleep here with me tonight, will you?" Louis said with a tired giggle, hugging Harry even more tightly.  
Harry smiled and shut his eyes. "Yes." he said simply.   
" Louis.." Harry said " hmm what?" Louis said dozing off.   
" I love you too " Harry said and he cold feel Louis smile into his neck, He wouldn't leave even if Louis wanted him to. He was going to stay, and he was going to fight off any nightmares that dared plague Louis tonight.  
But he had a feeling there were no more nightmares to be had.

**Author's Note:**

> So?


End file.
